another year

happy new year and welcome to 2008

another year has passed by and I can't believe 2007 went by so quickly. its good to look back and reflect on the year that was

2007 was a turbulent year for me. moving to a new city, a new job, made a bad investment, losing the love of my life after 7 long years and starting a new life all over again wasn't easy (it's still tough)

i was lucky to have a great family and a bunch of good friends (old and new) to help me through these trying times. maybe it is true, you only truly appreciate things that you have lost

during the last 7 months in hong kong i had plenty of time to reflect on what happened in my past few years. i could have done many things better, in terms of personal, relationship, financial and career development. but what has happened has happened. in a Wong Kar Wai movie, there is a quote, loosely translated as " we humans are so troubled by the past because we have such a good memory ".

my greatest regret was the ending of my relationship with my love. its been a year since my breakup, and it has taken me just as long to recover. there's really no point of discussing whose fault it was, and probably in retrospect, we did take each other for granted. my heart still aches when i see familiar scene, smell a distinct fragrance or hear a unique laughter that reminds me of her. i'm trying really hard to not think of the past and move forward, but i don't know if i could ever love someone as deep again. if you are reading this, i am truly sorry for the hurt i caused, you will always have a special place in my heart

being alone in hong kong has also made me more independent. though i appreciate my alone time, its kinda lonely when you have no one to connect with. during my 1 week x'mas break back in malaysia, i truly comprehended the importance of connecting with people (not a nokia ad).

so look around youselves, appreciate the loved ones/friends/family around you. accept them as they are, as they have accepted you as who you are, and show them you love them

may you have a happy love filled new year...

cashback

just finished watching the movie cashback with kara, and in line with my new motto of don't wait, just do it, i had to blog about it before i forget/delay/never get around doing it.

The synopsis from wikipedia:

"After a painful break up with his first girlfriend Suzy, Ben, an aspiring artist, develops insomnia. To take his mind off his problem he spends his nights working at a local supermarket, where he meets colorful characters. He falls in love with his colleague Sharon.

He lets his imagination run wild. In particular, he imagines that he can stop time for others, so that he can walk around in a world that is "frozen" like in pause mode of a film. He imagines Sharon and female clients standing naked in the supermarket, so that he can watch and draw them.

We see in flashback, with Ben's voice-over explaining how he always has been impressed by the beauty of the female body, how he, as a young boy, could see a Swedish boarder naked while she was going to and coming from the shower; being Swedish she did not believe this situation required modesty. Also we see little Ben's friend Sean Higgins showing Ben his parents' adult magazines. Furthermore we see Ben paying a girl for showing him her genitals.

Sharon is Ben's date when they go the birthday party of their boss. Ben meets Suzy who wants to continue their relationship. Ben refuses, but Sharon gets a negative impression seeing Ben with Suzy for a moment, and gets angry.

As a practical joke colleagues Barry and Matt phone him, one of them pretending to be an art gallery owner who is interested in his drawings, and an appointment is made. It turns out well: the gallery owner, seeing Ben's work, is interested, and an exhibition follows. Sharon also visits it and is impressed not only by Ben's success, but also by the many paintings portraying her; she is not angry anymore."

The original movie was actually a short film that won numerous awards. The full feature film includes the 18 minute Oscar-nominated short film of the same title.

Watching the film actually made me think of the subtle messages within the movie.

In one scene, we see Sharon desperately trying to avoid watching her watch/clock. It is said the more you watch time past, the longer it takes. I can certainly vouch for that. Any thoughts?

I also reflected on how Ben on his colleagues tried to distract themselves over their 8 hour shift, as though they were trapped within their job/work hour. It made me think, do I want to work in this line for the next 10, 20 years of my life? Can I keep on doing what I'm doing? The answer is a resounding no, and I have got to get out as soon as I can.

one of the memorable quotes i like from the movie :

"Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it."

Think about the above phrase. Are we too busy with our work to neglect the people around you? Are we chasing love and yet be unaware that it is always around us? Are we moving too fast and chasing life when life quietly passes by?

Ben said in the movie that he could stop time, pause time and even fast forward time. But what he cannot do was to reverse time correct what he did wrong.

I've always thought of what I would do if I could reverse time, to go back in time and change the past, to undo the things I did wrong, to make better choices. I’m sure you have too. We all have our own regrets, big or small.

In truth, we cannot go back in time to change the past. What we have is hindsight. We can only learn from our mistakes and move forward. Everything we are today is a product of some mistake we did in the past. The choice to linger on the past or to move on is entirely up to you.

Reflect, learn and improve. That’s all we can do...

nothing is permanent

i was saddened recently with some sports news...

thiery henry, the arsenal superstar forward would be leaving to join barcelona. although this is the worse kept secret for over a year, it was still the worse news for any arsenal supporter

though i'm a die hard newcastle united fan, i have always loved to watch arsene wenger's arsenal. they play beautiful, fast paced attacking football and any neutral fan would agree they are a joy to watch. with henry leading the line, you would always get goals, and most of the times, spectacular goals..

henry has always said he will be a gunner for life, and despite his departure, i believe him. he is an honest, decent bloke and he explained clearly why he left. first viera was sold, then arsenal moved to the new stadium which limited their transfer budget. though henry was made captain, he was too moody to lead the line from the front. then david dein left and arsene will not renew his contract with arsenal after next season. being 29 years old, it was now or never...

i think his departure will be a great loss for arsenal, and from the looks of it, the club is in danger of a free fall. i certainly hope they don't self destruct, i'd watch them play anyday over the other big 3 clubs. it's also a loss to the english premier league, losing one its brightest star, and dare i say their best ever player...

with the spanish league starting in an ungodly hour of 3 am HK/Malaysian time, i won't be able to watch much of henry's live action

the good thing is, barcelona is coming to HK to play a friendly game and they promise all their stars will come! i better get the tickets, this would probably the best chance of seeing him play live...

like i said, nothing is permanent anymore, the only thing that is permanent is... change

take a good look at yourself and your life and reflect

are you being the best that you can be? are you neglecting the people around you? have you said "i love you" to your family and loved ones? don't wait, just do it...



au revoir monsieur henry...